I'm Still Here
by atkesst
Summary: Elena's in her Bonnie-linked sleep. Unfortunately, she has been conscious the entire time, stuck on the road where she called her parents the night they drove off of Wickery Bridge. Short one-shot.


I have sat here, waiting for my best friend to die for god knows how long. I've estimated forty years but I can't be sure. When they first had me go to sleep, I assumed that it would be that; sleeping. But the second that Damon exited my mind, I woke up here.

It's the place that we first met, the night that my parents died. I found myself in the middle of the road, holding my phone right after I called my parents to pick me up. The night is cold and dark and there's no one here. Damon doesn't approach me, asking if I am Katherine. Because I never took the time to pay attention to my surroundings that night, the road is blurry and dark in both directions so I can't leave.

Isolation can drive you insane. I can barely see, and there is nothing to hear but the wind rustling in the trees. I even resorted to imitating Katherine just to be able to talk to someone. "How do you think they're doing?" I asked her once.

"Better without you," she had responded snarkily. I was shocked by how much it sounded like her voice. Of course, it would sound like her voice, we sound exactly the same. After that, I continued to imagine her and somehow it actually felt real. On a daily basis, she would tell me about how I deserved to be stuck here while everyone else moved on. How Damon probably found a new girl or how Caroline would've forgotten about me by now. They probably all were relieved to finally get rid of me. They might even turn Bonnie to keep her from dying.

It was nice to have someone to talk to, even if all she did was insult me. After a while, I even brought in Tatia and Amara. I had no clue what Tatia was like so I gave her the personality of Caroline, who would yell at me for all of the mistakes (according to her) I had made in the past, like choosing Damon over Stefan. She would talk about how I should've chosen better clothes that night in because the outfit I wore now was so boring and bland.

From the little I knew of Amara, innocent and virtuous, I always had her telling me not to hate myself. She would tell me that once Bonnie had lived out her life, everyone would be overjoyed to get me back. It was probably a year into this that I got so good at hallucinating that I was able to imagine them standing there with me. It was easy enough to picture them, I even had a puddle that I could see my reflection in. The four of us would banter constantly but it was something to keep myself occupied. It actually became fun.

One day, I mentioned that I hated being on this road. It brought back memories of the crash and I still felt guilty about having my parents pick me up that night. If I hadn't asked them to pick me up, they never would have died and Jeremy and I could've grown up with parents. "You didn't know," Katherine said. "It's not your fault because you had no idea that they would go off of that bridge." She put her hand on my arm to comfort me. I thanked her but then found myself staring at her face for the longest time. Katherine never would've said something like that. She wanted me dead, much less care about my guilt. Even though I knew that they were just my imagination, lying to myself for so long made it so hard to accept that I was alone.

One by one, they faded away after that. When it became clear that they weren't actually there, I couldn't imagine them anymore. They weren't real, so I guess I shouldn't have felt so sad losing them. But it hurt so much.

So now I sit here, thinking about all the things I would've done differently, with no one to talk to. I probably haven't even stood up in a year. I stopped feeling guilty about wishing Bonnie dead because I could live with the guilt of having my best friend dying so that I could live. It would mean I'd be off of this awful road. I wanted to see the sunrise, here it was always night. I wanted to see a house, there weren't any buildings around here. But most of all I just wanted to see someone. Anyone. I'd prefer Damon but I'd even settle for Silas at this point. I need to talk to someone other than my own head.

The worst part was that there was no option out of this. There was no giving up. I couldn't feel anything so stabbing myself with a stick was useless. I couldn't even sleep to pass time. At least Stefan could've turned off his humanity when he died hundreds of times that one summer. Unlike him, I was human. I would just have to wait.

"Elena?" someone whispered from behind me. It was a quiet whisper, but it was the loudest thing I had heard for ages. I turned around, hoping I hadn't imagined it. I had a tendency to do that.

But there he was. Just like I had remembered him. "Damon?" I asked, still not believing that it was him. I stood up slowly, my knees weak. He ran to me full force and pulled me into his arms. He was warm and everything here was cold. I couldn't be imagining it.

"Is Bonnie…" I stopped, trying not to sound insensitive. He shook his head.

"No, but I had to see you."

"How?"

He sighed. "Because of how Kai linked you, she was able to get me to her through her mind. We're currently right outside of the Salvatore tomb. She cast a spell and I went inside of her mind."

I was in awe. They hadn't forgotten about me. "How long can you be here?"

"Not long," he said. "Bonnie can only do this for ten minutes or else it is considered a loophole and you could die. But at least I get to see you."

Ten minutes, I repeated in my head. It wasn't long enough at all. "That's good," I said, disappointed. "I missed you so much." For some reason, I still doubted his presence. I pulled him closer to me, trying to memorize how he felt.

"Elena, don't worry. It's just good to finally see you, even for a short while. I'm going to be okay. I've made it three years already, I'll be fine," he comforted me. My jaw dropped and I pulled away from him.

"It's only been three years?" My voice cracked and I started shaking.

"Yeah, I know being unconscious makes time weird."

"No, Damon, you don't understand." Tears started flowing from my eyes. It was the first time I had cried since my death so I couldn't stop. I was sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm not unconscious. The last couple of years, I've been right here. In this horrible, cold street. I can't leave. There's absolutely nothing to do and if I have to stay here for another seventy or so years I'm not going to be the same person when I wake up!" I was shouting now, terrified of being left. I could imagine Bonnie's nose bleeding now.

"Elena, I'm so sorry. It's been hard for me too."

"You're not stuck in hell!" I screamed hysterically. "While you've been out there with people to comfort you or at least to just see. There are people. Things. You can move more than ten feet. You've been out there doing things and I'm still here. I can't even sleep, Damon." I buried my head in his chest and he held me tightly to him. He was silent for a minute while he held me as I soaked his shirt in my tears.

"I'm so sorry, Elena," he said when he finally spoke. "If I had known what you were going through…" he trailed off and I knew immediately what he was thinking.

"Don't hurt Bonnie. If she dies, she will go through exactly the same thing." I was confused at the words that came from my mouth. Having spent so long wanting her to die, I couldn't figure out why I suddenly wanted Damon to refrain from killing her. But I couldn't let him kill Bonnie for me. No matter how many people he has killed in the past, killing the one he was closest to at this point would definitely hurt him.

He didn't respond. "You're right. But do you realize how hard it is to see her everyday? She's mortal. One snap of her neck and I'd get you back. It's torture. So many times she's gotten into dangerous situations and every time I have to resist letting her just die."

I sighed. "Bonnie's good. She doesn't deserve to go through this." What am I saying?

"We don't really have time to argue about this," Damon changed the subject. "We have a couple of minutes before the witch pulls me out. What do you want to do in that time?" He raised his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Take me home," I said, suddenly. He looked surprised. "My house."

"Sounds great. One problem with that; you burnt it down."

I nodded furiously. "No, I haven't. Not yet."

"What?" He looked very confused.

"This is back before I destroyed it. It should still be there. I can't leave here because I don't remember what the street looks like in either direction so I can't walk into the darkness. But you remember where it is so you can take me there with your vampire mind thing you can do."

"I don't know…"

"Please? If I'm going to be here for another seventy years, I don't want to be stuck on this street."

He nodded and grabbed my hand. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was at my front porch. I nearly started crying again. Boy, was I emotional. I grabbed Damon by the collar and pulled his lips to mine. "I love you so much," I said when we finally parted.

"I love you too, Elena." He gave me his signature smirk and I wished so much that it was forever. Then he was gone. Bonnie must have stopped the spell. As soon as he was gone, I realized that there was so much more I should've told him, so much more I should have asked. I didn't even bother to ask about everyone. I knew that even if I had asked, I still would've felt like I hadn't said the right things.

I pulled the key I didn't realize I had from my pocket to open the door. I probably could entertain myself for a while with what was in my house; the Gilbert heirlooms, the books I never got to reading, and most of all the years of diaries I had written. I might even peek through Jeremy's stuff. Before I inserted the key into the keyhole, I saw that the lights were on inside. My heart skipped a beat. I was breathing heavily now. Instead, of unlocking the door, I tentatively knocked. A couple of seconds later, the door opened.

"Mom?"

**This story doesn't match the canon exactly as Elena was in a bed when Bonnie saw her in the finale and I made up a lot of how the "sleep" works. Please review! I'd like to see what people think of this! Also, check out my other story, It Isn't Fate but I Wish It Was.**


End file.
